Having different sex drives is an extremely common challenge for couples. But it’s often the one with the lower libido who often feels like there’s something wrong with them.
Having a lower sex drive is more common in women, but there are a lot of men who experience this as well. In fact, statistics show that about 43% of women and 31% of men report having a lower libido in the course of their life.
If you’re married and reading this, we hope that you’ll be able to take something away from these tips if you’re currently experiencing sexual issues.
Talk To Your Spouse And Give Yourself Some Break
First, go talk to your spouse and explain that you really want to change in this area, that it’s really important to you and your marriage. In order to do this, you need to have a break from the expectations to have sex. Even if you’re not having sex very frequently right now, it’s probably on your mind a lot. You need a break to relax your mind a bit, to not feel you’re so goal-oriented and have some time to investigate what’s going on with your body and your mind.
Your spouse might not like the sound of taking a break, especially for men because it’s how they feel connected and close to you. But know that it’s very important to your growth in this area. Stick to your conviction and we promise you, your spouse will thank you later.
During this period of no sex, what should you be doing? Well, you should be probably doing some investigation work for yourself and that comes in many different forms such as;
- Reading books. Go to the bookstore or Amazon and see what you can find. If you have a marriage coach, you can talk to them about it.
- Spending a lot of time with your spouse. Just because you’re having no sex, doesn’t mean you can’t be doing other things like cuddling, kissing, chatting in bed late at night together, or anything that you really enjoy and makes you feel intimate and close.
Improve Yourself And Appreciate Your Body
Another issue some people face is having challenges with body image and not feeling very confident and comfortable in their body. It makes sense when your spouse touches bits of you that you’re not really so happy with, it can be very uncomfortable especially if you’ve had some recent weight gain or maybe you’re a new mom and your body has changed. The whole idea of being sexy has been so blown out of proportion by our culture. Remember, your spouse really loves you for who you are, not what you expect yourself to be. Exercise, eat healthy, put on some make up, take enough sleep and dress well to feel and look your best.
Talk To Your Doctor or Psychologist
Whenever you go to your doctor or psychologist, the first thing that they recommend is that you get a full blood work done. They’re going to look at your testosterone or libido levels and a bunch of other stuff. It would be so much easier if it was just purely physical reason, but very rarely that is the case. Sometimes, it’s a mixture of physical and emotional issues. Other factors include psychological stuff; if there’s anything going on in your life, if you’re having relationship issues or if you’ve ever experienced any abuse.
Remember, you are unique and your situation is unique, so don’t feel like you have to live up to any sort of standards.